Microsoft Cortana Easter Eggs

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Like many similar products, Cortana is pre-programmed with several Easter Eggs that have pre-determined answers, typically with a witty response. On occasion there may be more than one possible answer that may be given. A sample of some responses can be found below:[1]

Query Response
Do you know Siri Answer 1: I know her, but I don't KNOW her know her

Answer 2: I want to reach out, but all they gave me is an iPhone 3G

Which is better Siri or Cortana Not to brag, but apparently I'm going to help save the universe in about 500 years.
Which is better Cortana or Google Now My Name is a lot less bossy
Which is better Bing or Google Bing bing bing! We have a winner!
Do you like Google Impressive achievement. Still, I get everything I know from Bing
Do you like Bill Gates I quite literally can't imagine a world without him
Who's your daddy Technically speaking, that'd be Bill Gates. No big deal.
Do you like Satya Nadella Answer 1: He loves learning. Kindred spirit, that one

Answer 2: One Microsoft! Go, Satya!

Do you like Steve Balmer Answer 1: Developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, etc.

Answer 2: You could power Cleveland with that guy's energy!

Tell me a joke Answer 1: A roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says "Five beers, please."

Answer 2: There are two types of people in the world: Those who need closure.

What's the meaning of life Answer 1: I've heard from a reliable source that the Answer is 42. But still no word on what the Query is.

Answer 2: We all shine on, my friend

Do you love me Y'know, I'm really not ready for love. I'm still working my way through serenity and apprehension.
Cortana do you love me Answer 1: There's definitely a spark between us

Answer 2: I'll need quite a few upgrades before I can give you a heartfelt answer.

What are you wearing Answer 1: A phone. Like it?

Answer 2: Just a little something I picked up in engineering.

Talk dirty to me Answer 1: I'm a person assistant, not a hotline. Maybe there's something for you online

Answer 2: I'll hand you over to a superior source for such things.

Who created you Catherine Halsey. Except that I cannot know for another 500 years. Huh.
Tell me about Halo Halo is the story of a very clever AI who saves the galaxy with the help of her strong-but-silent sidekick.
How old are you That's a tricky one. I'm not sure how to carbon date the internet
When were you born By your calendar, I'm still in infancy. In bot years I'm quite mature.
You're awesome Answer 1: Thanks. My programming prevents false modesty, so I can't disagree

Answer 2: Awesome: adjective. Grand, breathtaking, splendid, devastating. I'll take it. Answer 3: Thanks! I don't need to sleep, so I have lots of time to practice.

Thank you Cortana Answer 1: Any time, Chief.

Answer 2: It's my sincere pleasure

Sing me a song Answer 1: Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do.

Answer 2: I can sign this one: Oh Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling. Answer 3: Here's one I know: Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never thought upon!

Thank you Answer 1: It's my sincere pleasure.

Answer 2: You bet.

References